I fly a lot. I have a typical routine on the plane. I pull out something to read or perhaps an
iPad to watch a movie. I do my
work. I don’t generally engage in much
conversation with the person sitting next to me on the plane, though sometimes
I end up in a long conversation. Invariably, those conversations are great fun.
An interesting question is whether
my travel would be more enjoyable if I engaged in more conversations with
people I meet on the plane? This issue
was addressed in a fascinating paper by Nick Epley and Juliana Schroeder that
appeared in the October, 2014 issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.
In two field experiments, they
demonstrate that people generally avoid having conversations with strangers
when commuting. One study used train
commuters, and a second used bus commuters.
During their commute, some participants were asked to imagine that they
were told to have a conversation with another commuter they didn’t know
before. A second participant was asked
to imagine that they were told to commute without talking to anyone. A third group got no instructions.
Participants rated whether how much they thought they would enjoy their commute
as well as how productive they thought they would be.
In this study, participants
imagining they had to talk to another person thought they would enjoy the
commute less than those who imagined sitting in silence. Those imagining they had to have a
conversation also assumed they would be less productive on the trip than those
who imagined sitting in silence. The control
group came out in between on both measures.
A second set of field studies
actually had commuters on the train and bus engage in conversations or not. A third group was given no instructions. Afterward, participants rated how much they
enjoyed the commute as well as how productive they were. Participants also filled out a personality
inventory.
Strikingly, participants who were
asked to have a conversation with someone else on the train or bus really did
have conversations. These participants
enjoyed their ride much more than those who were instructed not to engage with
other people as well as those in the control condition (who also tended not to
engage in conversations). Interestingly,
participants in all conditions rated themselves as about equally
productive.
If conversations like this are
actually so enjoyable, why do people engage in them so rarely?
One other study asked commuters a
variety of questions and found that they underestimate how willing other people
would be to talk to them. So, commuters
feel that they are much more interested having people choose to talk to them
than other people are in being talked to.
As a result, people avoid striking up conversations for fear of
bothering another person.
In addition, one study found that
some people are able to predict their enjoyment of engaging in these random
conversations. This study looked at
people taking taxis leaving from an airport.
Some participants were actually asked to engage in a conversation with
the driver or to enjoy the solitude. As
with the other studies, those who had a conversation with the driver enjoyed
the ride more than those who did not.
In a second study, participants
predicted their enjoyment. Those who routinely engage in conversations
with the driver recognized that they enjoy the ride more when they talk than
when they don’t. People who rarely
converse with the driver did not recognize that they would enjoy their ride
more if they talked with the driver.
A final study examined another
possibility. Perhaps the people who
initiate conversations enjoy them, but those who do not initiate the conversations
enjoy them less. That is, maybe the
conversation is only positive for the initiator. This study was done in a psychology lab. Participants were waiting for the study to
start. Some participants were instructed
either to engage in a conversation with a second participant in the waiting
room or to avoid having a conversation. Afterward,
both participants were asked about how much they enjoyed the wait. Both the participant who initiated the
conversation and the non-initiator enjoyed the wait more when they had a
conversation.
Putting this all together, then,
it seems like most of us are missing out on a bit opportunity to enjoy our life
just a little more. Many of us travel on
trains, plains, busses, and taxis. In
those settings, we elect to protect ourselves from interactions with other
people. Yet, these data suggest that
most of us would enjoy ourselves more if we had conversations with the strangers
who sit near us rather than walling ourselves off.
These findings are particularly
interesting, because technology makes it easier than ever to avoid connecting
with strangers. Almost everywhere you
go, people are engaged with smart phones and tablets. Because of those devices, we avoid connecting
with real live people who are next to us.
And it seems that we are missing out by doing so.
