In any relationship, there are
times that you don’t do the right thing.
You brush off a colleague. You
snap at a romantic partner. You do
things that are selfish. In order to repair the relationship, though, you need
to take some responsibility. By taking
responsibility, you can work to change yourself to improve the relationship in
the future.
If taking responsibility is done
to help you change, then your beliefs about change should influence your
tendency to take responsibility for actions.
This question was examined by Karina Schumann and Carol Dweck in a paper
in the December, 2014 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.
In one study, the researchers did
a study of people who were in a long-term relationship in which they were
living with their partner. The
researchers measured people’s beliefs about whether personality can change. They also asked people to do a daily diary
for a week. For any conflict
participants experienced, they were asked whether they apologized as well as
whether they took responsibility for their actions. Beliefs about whether personality can change
did not affect whether people apologized for their actions. But, the more strongly that people believe
that they can change, the more likely they are to take responsibility for their
mistakes.
In a second study, the
researchers manipulated people’s beliefs about change by having them read a
scientific article that either supported the idea that personality remains
relatively fixed or that it changes.
After that, participants read a number of scenarios in which they
imagined that they had done something wrong to someone else. After those scenarios, participants answered
a number of questions including whether they would take responsibility for
their actions.
Participants who read that
personality can change were more likely to say that they would take
responsibility for doing something wrong than those who read that personality
remains relatively fixed. This study
suggests that people’s beliefs about whether they can change can be manipulated
and that manipulating these beliefs influences their tendency to take
responsibility for their actions.
A third study used a similar
methodology. Again, people’s beliefs
about change were manipulated. Again,
participants read a scenario in which they had to imagine doing something wrong
to another person and were asked whether they would take responsibility for
their actions. After that, participants
were asked to fill in word fragments.
For example, they might see the fragment THREA___. The fragments can be filled in either with a
word related to stress (like THREAT) or with a word unrelated to stress (like
THREAD). The more stress that people are
feeling, the more likely they are to fill in the fragments with words related
to stress.
As before, participants induced
to think that they can change were more likely to say they would take responsibility
for doing something wrong than those induced to think that they cannot
change. Interestingly, participants
induced to think they cannot change filled in more of the words in a way that
related to stress or threat than participants who were induced to think that
they cannot change.
Putting this all together, then,
it suggests another powerful influence of beliefs about change. When you believe that your behavior can
change, you are more likely to be willing to admit responsibility. A big reason why you are able to admit fault
is that you recognize that once you admit what you have done wrong, you can
work to make it better, and so you are not threatened by admitting
mistakes. People who do not believe that
they can change are stressed by admitting their mistakes, because they believe
that those mistakes say something fundamental about who they are as a person.
Ultimately, people can change
their behavior, even if that change requires some effort. A key part of the process of change is
recognizing what you have done wrong and learning from your mistakes. Believing that you can change gives you the
best opportunity to fix your behavior and repair your relationships.
